


A Light Against the Darkness

by mywritingbox



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 04:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12740895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywritingbox/pseuds/mywritingbox
Summary: Requested by the lovely @seriouslyobssesedfangirl on tumblr. She wanted some Elucien angst/fluff! I was wondering what to write and she dropped this idea in my askbox!*Warning for anxiety attack mentions





	A Light Against the Darkness

Elain felt the disturbance through her sleep and her eyes fluttered open almost immediately. She blinked, confused at the mumbling next to her; it wasn’t like Lucien to be up this late.

“Lucien?” she muttered quietly, rubbing an eye as she slowly sat up. The mumbling continued and confused, she turned her head and her eyes widened at the state of her mate.

He was sweating, thrashing slightly and breathing heavily as if he was being chased and he couldn’t get away. Elain yanked the blanket off the both of them and quickly sat on her knees, gently running a hand down his face.

“Lucien, my love.” she gently coaxed. “Wake up, it’s just a dream.”

But her touch seemed to have triggered something in him as the thrashing got worse and he growled at her.

“No no, leave -- _leave her alone_  --” he gasped and Elain paused. “D-don’t hurt her -- take me --  _hurt me_ \-- I --”

“Lucien!” she called out louder this time, shaking him slightly. “It’s just a dream. Wake up!”

She let out a cry as Lucien’s eyes popped open and with a snarl, he flipped them over, heaving as he hovered over her. Her eyes widened in alarm and for a moment, fear gripped her heart as Lucien’s hands tightened around her arms.

Elain didn’t dare move as his eyes wildly scanned the room around them as if whatever was haunting his dreams had followed him out. Lucien’s chest was rising and falling rapidly and then his eyes locked on Elain’s wide ones. Horror and guilt washed over his expression and he immediately let go and backed away.

“Elain --  _Elain_ \-- I’m so sorry!” he choked out, looking down at his hands, mortified. “I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you? I’m sorry!”

Elain slowly sat up and watched him, her expression worried as he continued staring down at his hands. Lucien looked up, locking eyes with her again until his eyes fell to the red on her upper arms where he had gripped her and the shame on his face had her quickly crawling to him.

“Lucien...I’m fine. You’re fine. It’s okay.” she said softly and when he ran a hand across his eyes then down his face in attempt to hide the tears there, her heart broke entirely. Elain leaned up, placing a tender kiss on his lips before pulling him in her arms and ran a hand soothingly down his back as he shook.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, his arms hanging limply at her sides. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, it’s okay, my love.” she replied sweetly, planting a soft kiss on the top of his head. “I love you, it’s okay.”

Lucien’s head slowly came up and Elain brought her hands up to his face and tenderly wiped away the tears that had escaped. She gave him a small smile and kissed him again. 

He pulled away from her slightly then ran both of his hands down her arms and back up, his thumbs lightly grazing the skin where his finger marks were slowly fading and he leaned down to quickly place a kiss on each of them.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered again and she shook her head, pulling him by his chin to look at her. “I scared you.”

“You didn’t mean to, Lu. You were having a nightmare...and I was scared for you, not of you.” she said softly and gave him another small smile. “Never of you.”

Lucien glanced at her and then cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently. “I -- I just need a minute.” he confessed with a swallow.

Elain nodded and brushed his hair back from his face. “Okay. Why don’t you relax here and I’ll go grab you a glass of water, hm?” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Wait no -- don’t go --” he quickly begged, his hand clasping hers with a panicked look and Elain gently brought her hand atop of his.

“I’m just going to the kitchen, my love. I’ll be right back.”

“But -- but -- she could -- they could --” he stuttered and Elain planted a tender kiss on his lips, silencing him. He brought both hands up to cup her face and kissed her furtively before pulling away.

“It’s just you and me here, Lucien.” she whispered. “I’ll be right back.”

His eyes roamed her face and Elain gave him an encouraging smile so he nodded and reluctantly let her go.

Kissing him again, Elain quickly slid out of their bed only glancing once behind her to see Lucien’s hands shakily running through his hair again. She bit her lip, making her way to the kitchen and her thoughts a million miles a minute. What nightmare could’ve shaken him up that badly? Elain knew Lucien had dealt with many horrors over the years of his life but they always kept the conversations about those things light, and she never pushed until he felt ready to talk about it.

But tonight, something seemed to have horribly shaken him.

Filling a glass with cold water, she slowly padded her way back to their bedroom and found her mate sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. Elain quietly walked up next to him and sat down, a hand on his back and the other handing him the glass of water. He gave her a small, grateful smile and then downed the glass in one go before placing it on the table next to the bed.

She watched him run a hand across his mouth and then sigh. “I’m sorry I woke you and made you worry.” he said quietly. “I...haven’t had a nightmare like that in a long time.”

Elain let the hand on his back rub soothingly as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “Don’t apologize for something you can’t control. I’m just sorry you had to deal with something that scared you so.” she said, then looked up at him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Lucien’s eyes met hers and he swallowed again. She gave him a few moments to gather himself, intertwining their hands together in his lap. His eyes flickered down to their joined hands then back to her face and Elain squeezed the hand, reminding him that she was there.

“It -- it was about you.” he whispered and his eyes dropped down to their hands again as he tightened his grip on her hand. “My brothers and -- and Amarantha -- they...they had you. They were going to hurt you.”

Elain’s mouth turned to a thin line. “It was just a dream, Lucien. That wicked witch is dead. It doesn’t mean anything.” she said then attempting to sooth him, added,  “I’m right here. They can’t get to me. I’m with you.”

Lucien shook his head again and started gasping for breath, trying to take deep breathes.

“J-Jesminda --- was --- with --- me.” he said between breaths and Elain could see the anxiety attack starting to take over. “They -- killed --- her --- right --- in --- front --- of --- me! I c-couldn’t --- stop -- it!”

“Lucien, it’s okay. We’re okay. Take deep breaths for me.” she guided him gently and she watched him trying to do as she asked but it came out ragged instead. He loosened his shaking hands from hers and bent his head in his lap, attempting to take his breaths.

“W-what if I -- can’t protect you!” he wheezed and shuddered. “I couldn’t --- even --- protect myself! That bitch -- that  _bitch_  took my eye --- and tortured me. What if they get their hands on you? What if they hurt  _you_?”

His voice cracked on the last word and Elain quickly pulled him up and wrapped her arms around him, bringing his head to her chest as he broke down. He was shaking so badly and Elain blinked back her own tears, her heart breaking for the suffering he’d been through.

“Lucien.” she said gently. “I need to you take deep breathes for me. Listen to voice. I’m right here, my love. We’re both here. We’re both safe. Just breathe.”

“ _Elain_.” he gasped and her hand rubbed soothing circles down his back as he clung to her as if she was the only thing tethering him to this life.

“We’re safe, Lucien.” she continued, reiterating the thoughts through the bond. “No one is going to harm us. Neither you or me. No one would dare.”

“What if --” he began but she shushed him softly.

“No what ifs.” she replied gently. “It was just a dream. She’s dead and your brothers know better.”

“It was just a dream.” he rasped softly and her hand kept at work, soothing his back.

“Just a dream.” she repeated and soon, his breathing became normalized. Lucien kept his head buried in her chest and sniffled softly. Elain tightened her grip on him, kissing the top of his head.

“I...I feel so weak. I’m embarrassed to be like this.” he whispered. “What if I can’t protect you?”

Elain pulled back, gently lifted his chin to lock eyes with him. “There is nothing to be embarrassed of. You are anything but weak, Lucien. You have been through so much and that makes you a survivor. You have endured and have come out on the other side.” she said quietly but firmly. “You are here with me, we are safe, and we are happy. You make me feel safe, Lucien. You are my home and I will always feel protected with you.”

Lucien searched her eyes and when she smiled at him, she watched all his worries fade. Elain opened her arms to him and Lucien sank in her hold again, both content to be in each other’s presence.

“I love you.” he whispered, his fingers lightly tracing her arm. “I love you and will give my life to always keep you safe and happy.”

“I love you just as much.” Elain replied softly. “A flower can’t blossom without sunshine and you are my sunshine. I will fight to my last breath for you. I never want to hear you talk about yourself like that again.”

Lucien looked up at her and she smiled down at him.

_Come with me._  She whispered down the bond to him and he quirked a brow.

_Where to?_

Elain’s smile widened and she slowly stood up, taking Lucien with her, his grip on her hand tightening for a moment as she pulled him out of their room and towards the back balcony of their townhouse, facing the Sidra River. She slide the glass door open and the scent of the waters hit them both as they padded outside onto the balcony.

Coming behind Lucien, Elain guided him towards the railing of the balcony and he leaned against, her arms coming around his middle and the two took deep breaths of the night air.

“See how beautiful and peaceful it is?” she said to him and Lucien looked over his shoulder to smile down at her softly.

“Not as beautiful as you, though.” he replied, his hands locking over hers around his middle and she chuckled.

“Pay attention, Lucien. I’m trying to be comforting.”

It was Lucien’s turn to chuckle. “Being around you is all the comfort I need, my dove.”

Elain smiled and nuzzled her head into his back. She was hoping that the fresh air would clear his head and take away all the awful feelings that nightmare had put in him.

“I love you and I’m here with you, all the way.” she said quietly.

Lucien took another deep breath. “We’re safe.”

“Yes, we are.”

“No one would dare try to hurt you.”

“Or you.” she countered.

“I don’t care about myself. They’d only hurt me trying to hurt you.”

“Well, I care about you and you should care about yourself because if anyone tries to hurt you, I’ll poison them.”

He looked over his shoulder at her and gave her an amused look. “You’ll poison them?”

“Azriel has been training me but it’s not enough yet. I have to use whatever skills I already have.” she replied with a scrunch of her nose and he chuckled. “I happen to know a lot about plants and which ones can be poisonous.”

“I’m pretty sure being a seer has it’s perks too.” he replied, turning his body so the two faced each other and she gave him a smile.

“It does. Which is why you can rest assured that all I see in our future are good things.”

Lucien smiled widely now. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” she said and leaned up to meet his lips for a soft kiss. The two stood staring at each other, adoringly, lovingly, and so tenderly that it made Elain giggle and Lucien chuckle in return.

“I love you.” he whispered and she grinned.

“I know.” came her reply and then she bounced excitedly, looking at him wide eyes. “Let’s get a bunch of blankets and pillows and build a fort out here! We can sleep outside for the rest of the night.”

Lucien blinked at her then laughed softly. “You want to build a blanket fort? Now? It’s pretty late.”

“So?” she whined with small pout she knew would be his weakness. “We don’t have anything important tomorrow and it’s nice, breezy, and comfortable. What do you say?”

He shook his head with a grin then leaned down and kissed her. Lucien almost chastised himself for ever being worried in the first place, right here at his side --- he has  _his_ sunshine. His light against the darkness.

“Let’s go get those blankets.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always welcome :)


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